This last week wasn’t the greatest by any standard.
I engaged in ED behavior.
I spent a lot of time crying.
Work sucked.
I was physically sick.
Gabe was sick.
Given all that, I was shocked when I realized a few minutes ago that I went the whole week without once fantasizing about killing myself. Not once did I play the scenario out in my head and think what a relief it would be to just not be living anymore.
I don’t know for certain if I never had the thought, “I should kill myself.” The thought itself has been so common place for awhile now that more than likely it did pop into my consciousness this week. But what I do know is that the thought of “I should kill myself” never went any further than that. I never once closed my eyes and imagined myself actually carrying through with it.
Yea me.
Heidi said
*virtual hug*